I was with Joy today, and she was just telling me how much she didn’t appreciate your insults etc. And I tried to explain how that’s just you being funny and that you really do like her, that’s your way of showing it.. She was telling me how you’re not worth, and how you’re too possessive, expecting me to choose my you over my friends. She told me she would of dumped you in an instance if she was with over that whole Giordan thing because it was completely out of line. I understood why you got upset, and yes I was angry because you made such a scene… it wasn’t Giordan’s fault.. and I am sorry. But the truth is.. I’ll pick you over anyone any day. But you don’t believe that. You don’t believe that when that’s the truth. I stopped talking to Giordan because of all that, even though what had happened was very trivial. I would choose you. I did? How can you say I chose my friends over you. Joy was complaining how she barely saw me throughout that year…….. The difference between us is, your friends didn’t complain but my friends did.. yet I choose you, and ditched them. You never had to ditch your friends because it was never an option. I choose you.
Dear
I love you, and you don’t want me anymore. You’ve given up on me. Do you know how much it hurts? Do you know how much I’ve been hurting for the past few months? I know I’ve hurt you, and I know you’ve been feeling bad for a long time because of me, but all I ever wanted was to love you. I just can’t help the person I am, I don’t mean half the anger stuff I say. Do you not believe me when I tell you how special you are and how much I do love you? Because it’s all true. I broke up with you because you deserved better, but I thought you would still want me, want to fight for it, because I am willing to, it’s worth it for me. I just can’t believe that it’s not worth it for you… everything we had.. you’re okay with just moving on from it? Why do you not love me anymore?
You have no idea how much it hurts to be the reason why we fucked up and when all I wanted was to make you happy. I am sorry I disappointed you. But I NEVER STOPPED WANTING YOU. Why are you not still here? I can’t stop crying. I’ve never cried this much before, I don’t even know why tears just fall. What help does it do? Does it bring you back? Does it make you happy with me? No. Every train journey I take to and from university, I somehow just cry all the way through the journey. The people next to me probably think I’m pathetic if they knew it was because of a break up. But it’s not just a break up. We were more than just girlfriend boyfriend. I just don’t quite know how to put it. It’s different.. I can’t stop feeling so shit, and just wanting to shut the world out. I just want you……………… do you think you’d ever change your mind? Do you reckon we would ever get back together. From the way you spoke, I doubt it. You kept saying I keep emailing you hence why I can’t move on. In the same way you kept saying why we needed to meet up so often…. I stop myself from emailing you, maybe once a month.. the fact that you said “I keep” doing it shows that how much it bothers you and how much I don’t matter any more in the same way with us meeting up. You simply can’t be bothered seeing me. You don’t miss me. When we were together, we spoke everyday, the longest time we didn’t see each other was 6 days. It’s been 2 months now since I’ve seen you. And before the phone call, it would of been a month since we spoke on the phone. And even before, we only spoke less than a minute on the phone. Why the sudden change? Why?
Dear
I’m just really struggling to come to terms with all this. We were so close, you were my best friend. I told you everything, we shared everything, I came to you with everything. But now I’m alone? How does that make any sense? How am I in this alone when we were meant to be in this together..? I thought I had this one, I really thought with you it would be different. We would never end up like this, we would always have each other to depend on and we could always talk things through. But now I don’t even know what’s going through your mind, and like you said, we’re strangers. I don’t know you. I don’t understand you. And I don’t know how you could move on from me, from us. I don’t understand how you can just leave me knowing how much I still want you, knowing I never stopped wanting you. You call me selfish? You’re selfish. You’ve changed and moved on and you expect the same from me. Why do you get what you want?
A goodbye isn’t painful unless you know you’re never going to say hello again.
(Source: runawaytrain)
"When we say things like “people don’t change” it drives scientists crazy because change is literally the only constant in all of science. Energy. Matter. It’s always changing, morphing, merging, growing, dying. It’s the way people try not to change that’s unnatural. The way we cling to what things were instead of letting things be what they are. The way we cling to old memories instead of forming new ones. The way we insist on believing despite every scientific indication that anything in this lifetime is permanent. Change is constant. How we experience change that’s up to us. It can feel like death or it can feel like a second chance at life. If we open our fingers, loosen our grips, go with it, it can feel like pure adrenaline. Like at any moment we can have another chance at life. Like at any moment, we can be born all over again."
Grey’s Anatomy (via eletheowl)
"According to Elisabeth Kubler-Ross, when we’re dying or have suffered a catastrophic loss, we all move through five distinct stages of grief. We go into denial because the loss is so unthinkable we can’t imagine it’s true. We become angry with everyone, angry with survivors, angry with ourselves. Then we bargain. We beg. We plead. We offer everything we have, we offer our souls in exchange for just one more day. When the bargaining has failed and the anger is too hard to maintain, we fall into depression, despair, until finally we have to accept that we’ve done everything we can. We let go. We let go and move into acceptance."
Grey’s Anatomy (via eletheowl)
(via eletheowl)
(Source: picturesandquotes.net, via whatificantf0rgetyou)
(Source: eletheowl)
"Don’t say we aren’t right for each other, the way I see it is… We aren’t right for anyone else."
The Cutting Edge (via eletheowl)
